sovereignty circle

once upon a time, i met a boy in high school. we saw each other every week, but didn’t talk for 4 years. one day, our paths crossed. he was my small group leader at a camp. we learned that we were going to be classmates in our advanced sport climbing class. we shared an umbrella and talked and walked down the hill. we went to class together since his family owns a portal from the campus to the street parallel to the gym. we had free climbs together. as belayer and climber, we learned to watch out for each other. one day, he had cramps while climbing the russian pump and the instructor said he might have potassium deficiency. i surprised him with a bunch of bananas the next climb. he texted something about best friends and true friends, told me that he had no best friend and that he means what he texts. i assumed that he was looking for a best friend. he assumed that i was into him. he would walk me home after class, sometimes staying for a drink. he started dropping by dormitory fellowship meetings, accompanying me for dinner after, knowing i’d be hungry after and keeping me safe. he started talking about relationships. the commitment phobe in me panicked. i thought he was displaying his interest in me. but it was only when we talked that he learned to see me. our discipler intervened and our friendship was limited to nothing but small talks and blog posts for three months while we prayed for direction.

fast forward, he courted me, told me he chose to love me. we were together for three years, with breakups in between. we broke His heart and theirs, and betrayed each other’s trust in different ways.

one night, i told him about how i didn’t believe in God anymore. because of what happened to us. he just held my hand and led me in prayer.

then he courted the girl he was flirting with during the last leg of our relationship. a churchmate. imagine that. surprise, surprise. she turned him down. he turned to me for comfort. after that came the cold war.

one night, i asked him to sign the shopaholic box for a human bingo game at an acquaintance party, and the ice melted. he remains true to his promise about being a true friend, sometimes, even being the best. he’s been patient about my rants. tonight, i asked him if a certain someone and i could be friends again someday. he answered that we did become friends again after 3 years. he asked me who my God is. i answered, “the sovereign God” and broke into tears. hence, this post.

the friendzone is a nice place.

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