a question of satisfaction


yesterday, i was the worship leader.

my hair was nice. but that was probably the only thing that wasn’t out of sorts. i was late. that means that we started late. and worse, i failed to catch who was supposed to do what. i forgot to prepare a spill for the singing of songs of praise and worship. there were also other changes that i should have realized had i arrived as i should have. but the worst thing was being the worship leader and not being able to lead anyone in worship.

what was my excuse? stress from overworking? vampire diaries overnight? restless sleep?

whatever it was, i could not focus on anything. i was on autopilot mode.

love the Lord your God with all your mind… i didn’t need to go any further to question if i did worship.

i was so depressed last night. i made a phone call, but i made it too early. i never want to feel so unworthy again.

the morning brought my best friend’s text message about luke 3:8a, 14. the message to him was about repentance. mine? work and contentment.

i was late for dinner and bible study tonight. we studied john 4. it’s one of my favorite passages. as the song goes, “i am the woman at the well, i am the harlot…” but tonight, we didn’t dwell on sin and mercy. the Living Water never meant as much to me as He does in my state of discontent.

He knows my needs. i am tired, slow, and dizzy. yes, i am thirsty. and only He can quench it.

i am forgetful, too.

He satisfies.

and i keep forgetting.

when i do things for His glory, they have meaning.

maybe even work can be exhilarating. 🙂

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