hannah once told me that sometimes things are just between you and God. sometimes there really is no one else you could turn to, but at other times, you can’t let anyone in. maybe this is one reason why i keep a blog. there are a lot of things i will never open up about unless i write about them. maybe right now, i don’t need to talk. but i do need to express my emotions in some other way. and right now, i am tired. weary even. and yet my condition brings me back to something i overlook most of the time.
there are people who long for death and i am one of them. and there’s this verse that seems to agree with me. it goes…
For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.
but for so long i had forgotten to look at it as a whole. to die is gain, yes. to live is Christ. do i embrace life? i should if i live for Christ. whether i live or die, whatever suffering i go through, i am to consider it as pure joy because of Christ.
i visited kalcf earlier. i can’t say that it makes me happy to go. but it fills me with gladness to be there. because it is where i started to grow spiritually after being stagnant for so long. and it blesses me to witness others as they start their journey.
let tears wash away the sadness and the weariness from these eyes.