of fairytales and happy endings

well, not exactly… ever read about little boys who shake off their genitals to become angels? castrato. mutilated at usually an early age to prevent their voices from changing. and yes, they’re said to sing like angels, their voices inhuman just like the operation they went through. anne rice’s "cry to heaven" is about their story. it is beautiful in all its monstrosity. an exquisite torture that managed to strip me of all traces of innocence. to say it is passionate would be an understatement. i can’t  possibly do the book justice with my attempt of a review, but i’m not exactly eager to let anyone else read it. i even hid away my copy in the hopes that no innocent would lay their hands on it. it’s also heartbreakingly depressing in its revelation of man’s cruelty.

then there’s "veronica decides to die". it’s a marvel to discover the freedom enjoyed by the insane. it makes me wish i were one, but then again, maybe i am. she got tired of life. so did i. but she found the courage to live. as have i. but it took me one rebuke after another. but for those who search for the meaning of life, why not try ecclesiates? it’s the book in the Bible after proverbs. time and again, i discover that there’s something fresh to learn from it when life seems meaningless and empty.

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