i spent the day with someone i took for granted for so long. in my
selfishness, i failed to be the friend that he needed. i reasoned time
and again that i was going through something so i couldn’t spare time
soothing someone else. nevermind that i was battling my tendencies to
lose hope. maybe if i listened to another person’s troubles, i wouldn’t
have been too preoccupied with my own. i had been a terrible friend.
and worse, i had been an unfaithful child of God. i had forgotten that
this life i live had long ago been offered up to Him. or that He has
equipped me with everything i need to face my battles. i failed to
trust His promise that He would never leave me nor forsake me. i had
been so ungrateful for the sacrifice He made that i pondered taking my
life. then i remembered that it is no longer i who live…
started crying at the beginning of the movie, "the lion, the witch, and
the wardrobe". i was thinking about susan and the consequences of not
continuing in our faith. i’m going too far ahead in the chronicles of
narnia for those who had not read the books… and i observed that the
enemy’s lies seem sweet, but the mask falls off when we are at their
mercy, not that they show any. our betrayal inflicts great pain. and yet He welcomes us with
open arms and remembers our sin no more. unworthy as we are, He died
that we may live.
but i can’t help but ask… why did Father
Christmas not give them a ride? i guess we’re back to the part where
they were equipped with weapons and told, "these are tools, not toys.
handle them well and wisely." or something like that. the thing is to
be grateful instead of demanding more.